Five months as The Uniboober
23 September 2019
Five months ago today, my right breast was removed and I commenced the next chapter of my life as a uniboober. Physically these changes can be seen by the eye but I've changed in so many other ways emotionally, spiritually and mentally.
Thinking back to the mastectomy surgery, I mistakenly believed at the time that the breast removal was the largest component of being diagnosed with breast cancer. Little did I know it was merely one piece of the puzzle, one of the many new parts of my life that meant I'd never be the same again.
I'm getting more comfortable with accepting I'm not the same person and I'm never going to "get back to normal". I'm also not a big fan of the term "new normal", a reference many use for the next part of my life after active treatment has finished. When I do eventually return to work, when people I know ask how I'm doing, when a year or more has passed and I start to look "normal" again because my hair has grown back and I look less cancery...I still won't feel the same as I did before my diagnosis.
I'll never again see myself or my life as "normal". Things can't simply "return to normal". Normal isn't a status or measure of life events, it's merely a perspective through which you judge yourself and others.
I don't want to be normal because it sounds fucking boring, to tell the honest truth. Every second of every day is an extraordinary gift whether you've got one boob, no boobs, three nipples, no nipples, big boobs, saggy boobs, small boobs, scarred boobs or enhanced boobs (implants or reconstructed).
Whatever life throws at you is normal. Cancer is normal. Death is normal. Divorce is normal. Illnesses and accidents are normal. Disabilities are normal. Blended families are normal. Mental illness is normal. Therapy is normal.
Change your perspective and you'll see that the ups and downs of life are normal.