Tears out of nowhere in Ikea

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Sunday, 19 May 2019

Today was a mixed bag for me personally, featuring anxiety during the car trip, happiness to see my boy enjoying himself at the Weetbix Kids Tryathlon, silent tears of sadness and fear at the triathlon and again out of the blue in the lounge section of Ikea. Don't ask me why but I was overcome with intense emotional feelings that produced tears for no apparent reason. My day was rounded off by a repeat dose of Lorazepam to balance out the anxiety and emotional rollercoastering.

Behind these smiling eyes there's a woman who's terrified of what lies ahead. She knows she has an army of supporters backing her the whole way but it's in those deepest, darkest moments of solitude and self pity that she wishes she could hide away until it's all over.
Not sure if this is a normal response to upcoming cancer treatment but it sure ain't lollipops and rainbows for yours truly.
Smiles on the surface, waves of fear and anxiety underneath.

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